The Leadership Skill No One Taught You: Conflict Repair

Let’s talk about what happens after a hard moment.

After the conversation didn’t land the way you hoped. After your tone was sharper than you intended. After you replay it in your head on the drive home and think, I wish I’d handled that differently.

If you lead in healthcare, this will happen. Not because you’re bad at leadership ... but because the pressure is real.

High stakes. Constant urgency. Too many decisions with not enough margin.

And yet, most leaders were never taught what to do after emotions run high.

The Moment Isn’t the Problem ... Avoiding Repair Is

Here’s something I wish more leaders knew earlier in their careers:

Conflict doesn’t break trust. Unrepaired conflict does.

We tend to think leadership requires getting it right every time ... staying calm, composed, perfectly regulated no matter what’s happening around us. But that’s not realistic. And honestly? It’s not human. (Let's remember our physiological amygdala response, that is very real).

What actually builds credibility isn’t perfection. It’s the willingness to repair.

What Repair Really Looks Like

Repair doesn’t have to be formal or dramatic. It doesn’t require a long explanation or a perfectly crafted apology.

Often, it’s simple. Quiet. Human.

It might sound like:

• “I’ve been thinking about our conversation.”

• “I didn’t show up the way I wanted to.”

• “Can we reset and talk this through?”

That’s it.

No defensiveness. No justification. No blame.

Just ownership and presence.

And here’s the interesting part: those moments often strengthen trust more than if the conflict had never happened at all.

Why This Matters So Much in Healthcare

In high-stakes environments, unresolved tension lingers.

It shows up as:

• guarded communication

• hesitation to speak up

• passive agreement instead of honest dialogue

Over time, that costs teams far more than a single uncomfortable conversation ever could.

Repair restores safety. And safety is what allows teams to function, speak honestly, and perform under pressure.

This Is Leadership in Real Life

No one teaches these conversations in med school. Or residency. Or leadership titles.

But they’re the conversations that quietly define your leadership.

Not the big wins. Not the credentials. But the moments where you pause, reflect, and choose to repair instead of avoid. This is true vulnerability at it's finest.

If you’ve had one of those moments recently, you’re not behind. You’re growing.

And if this feels familiar, you’re not alone. This is the work I care deeply about and the kind of leadership I believe healthcare deserves.